I used to be skinny..........

.....and now I'm not! 

It's not as if I'm fat, I'm just a little larger in some places than I'd like to be. It's difficult to explain to other people who look at me and say I look fine. I don't feel fine, I have days where I look at myself in the mirror and wish I looked like someone else. This doesn't stop me stuffing my face with all the wrong things though! 

It's been nearly 8 weeks since I fell off the Weight Watchers wagon, and although I've only put a couple of pounds back on, I can feel my trousers getting tighter again. I can see the bulge of my stomach starting to return, along with the thighs that rub together and the flab that sits above my bra and under my armpits. It's not always been this way, I used to be 2 stones and 2 dress sizes smaller than this. Unfortunately at times back then I still thought I didn't have the perfect figure. A lot of this is down to an ex who would put a lot of pressure on me about my weight (when I was 8.5 stone!), the rest is self esteem and confidence.

So today I am getting back on the wagon. I don't want to be too skinny again. I look back and even though the ex thought I was fat, I actually realise that I was too thin in those days. I'd like to keep the curves I have now, but without the extra flab. If I could have a flat-ish stomach, and less flabby thighs. I'd like to be about the size I was when I met my husband. 


I'm going to use this photo as a reminder. 

Oh and I'd like to be thinner in the face again! 

Music to Gym to - Playlist 1

Since starting my diet I have also started going to the gym again. A few people have asked 'Don't you find it boring?' Well the answer is 'No'! Well I probably would if I didn't have my iPod with me. The secret to a good gym workout is a good playlist, filled with songs that have just the right beat to workout to. I have about 6 gym playlists on my iPod now, each one carefully planned out carefully to fit to my hour long workout. 


Playlist no.1


My routine at the gym starts with a 5 minute warm-up on the bike, and kicking it all off with 'Survival Car' from their debut album, is Fountains of Wayne. 

My bike warm-up continues with Weezer, and 'No-one Else' from The Blue Album

Next, it's time for 10 minutes on the Cross Trainer. This is where things start to speed up a little, and I need music that will help me keep the pace, especially for the last few minutes. 

Stereophonics - The Bartender And The Thief 

Foo Fighters - Back & Forth 

System Of A Down - Chop Suey - This is the one that helps me get through the last few breathless minutes. 

Next up is the stepper, 10 minutes of burning in the backs of my legs, starting with Biffy Clyro - Shock Shock

Queen's Of The Stone Age - Hangin' Tree

Weezer - Everybody Get Dangerous 

My time on the treadmill varies between 10 and 20 minutes depending on how tired I'm feeling. This is probably where the music gets a bit heavier 

Foo Fighters - DOA 

Alter Bridge - Rise Today 

Alter Bridge - White Knuckles 

Foo Fighters - Rosemary

After this, I do a few weights, some sit ups, generally slower paced, cooling down exercises. This part of the playlist features a mixture of Fountains of Wayne and some slower Foo Fighters tracks, including Wheels. 

Happy Happy Happy

Just a short post from me tonight. Thought I should write something, seeing as I haven't updated for a couple of weeks. So I'm going to write a brief summary about how I feel my life is so good right now. 


Last weekend was the 10th anniversary of 9/11 and watching the memorial ceremonies and thinking about all those people who lost loved ones, made me think about how much I have in my life to be thankful for, how short life is, and how we should make the most of every minute. 
So what do I have to be thankful for? 


For starters there's my husband, a.k.a. Mr Perfect. For years I waited for him, wasting time with Mr Wrong and watching other women get married, start families, and be happy. Then along he came, and although some people may think things moved along pretty quickly, the only thing I wish had happened differently was that we'd met sooner.  


Then there's my family. I have wonderful parents who have brought me up well. Although they may not live nearby, I know that they are at the other end of the phone and would support me through thick & thin. There's my siblings, younger and older who I love dearly, and 4 lovely nephews who I am so proud of. I mustn't forget my beautiful step-daughter. 


I'm lucky to have lots of friends, both in the real life and in the virtual world. I may not have one close friend like most women have, but I know there are many I can turn to in times of need. 


Then there's my job, which in some ways is similar to my husband. I spent years in the wrong job, working hard for little reward, going home in tears week in week out, after being made to cry by the boss. This year, I got out, got myself a new job, and things have never looked so positive. I now work for a great company, with a great boss, and great colleagues. I never thought I'd say it, but I actually look forward to going to work in the morning. 


To cap it all off, I am on a diet and starting to get my body back to looking how it did before the wedding. So far I've lost four and a half pounds and it's only been 2 weeks. 


Let's hope the happiness continues. 

Another reason to stick to the diet

Earlier this week I joined Weight Watchers. I've known I've needed to lose weight for some time, but I've been struggling to do it on my own, so I decided that this was the answer. Having the willpower to turn down all the foods I love is really difficult, and swapping chocolate bars for fruit was starting to get me down this week. That was until my husband found a photo of us from 2008 that shocked me so much. So here is my inspiration for losing weight. Every time I crave that Galaxy Bubbles bar, or that Maple Pecan pastry, I shall open this blog and remind myself why I need to do this. (Please excuse the bad hair day & poor quality photo)

Me & Husband in August 2008

Me in August 2011